Honesty time: I am really bad at this whole "trust" thing. My mind becomes filled with lies. Lies about my past, lies about those I do trust, lies about what The Lord is doing, and lies about my future. However, I can repeat truth all day long. My head knows truth (The Lord) from lies (the enemy) but my heart has a hard time believing it.
This past week my brakes began to make a very obnoxious grinding sound.
I thought "great, this is going to cost me a fortune".
I began to look into what could be wrong and I discovered I needed new rear brake pads and rotors.
I was quoted $250, including a $50 off coupon.
I began to pray.
I am a poor college student trying to complete my last semester of college, apply for jobs, remain faithful in my teaching and planning, and above all else, stay sane.
My cooperating teacher and I have become really good friends.
She serves as a mentor to me.
She, herself, is a graduate of Cedarville and she loves The Lord.
We initially hit it off because we have the common bond of Cedarville but I soon realized how much she truly cares for me and how much she wants to help me and guide me in my teaching.
I started to tell her about my current situation after I found out that her car battery died and her rear brakes are doing the same thing. She asked me how much it was going to be to fix and I told her about $250.
She did not like that.
She immediately started to think of people who could help me out and I appreciated her willingness to help.
Her husband was going to pick up the brake pads for her car yesterday and she told me she was going to tell him to look at what it would cost for the parts to change mine as well.
She texted me later that evening saying it would cost only $60 for the parts and she was determined to find someone to change them for me.
She contacted her cousin and he volunteered to change my rear brake pads and rotors for me.
I was floored.
Why would this woman do something so nice for me?
This morning I met her at her cousins house and we dropped off my car and the parts and went to lunch. We talked education and I got to know her youngest daughter, Lyndie.
When we got back to her cousins, he told me it needed the brake pads and rotors changed so he did both for me. I asked him what I owed him and he told me nothing, he just makes people pay for the parts, but I handed him $20 anyway and thanked him.
I then asked my teacher what I owed her for the parts and she smiled and said consider it my birthday gift to you.
Again, no words.
I was shocked.
We said our goodbyes and I headed back to campus.
As I write this, I have tears streaming down my face.
A job that should have cost me $250, cost me $20.
Oh what little faith I have.
I often find it comical how terrified I was to student teach.
Actually, I dreaded it.
I knew I wanted to go to seminary and I knew I didn't want to teach so the whole thing seemed so silly to me.
But now I see what The Lord was doing.
He was blessing me.
Blessing me with a wonderful cooperating teacher who loves The Lord and loves her students.
Her heart shines Jesus and when I'm around her, I see Him.
So back to my point at the beginning, The Lord is continually placing me in situations which can only be explained in one word, "God". Situations where I find myself convicted to the point of tears because I realize how little trust I have in The Lord.
After all, if I can trust him with my salvation, why can't I trust Him with the little things?
Hasn't he always provided?
Yes.
So, in the Gospels, when Jesus asks His disciples why they have such little faith, He's actually asking me why I have such little faith.
I have no answer.
But I know that when I become faithless and inconsistent in my walk with The Lord, He remains faithful.
And i'm grateful for that.
Melanie
