I love that song and I love looking around and seeing other people singing their hearts out.
But this Monday was a little different.
I couldn't sing those words.
I tried, but I felt too convicted.
I sat down during that song and started to write.
I wrote exactly what I was feeling.
"Lord, I can't sing these words because they aren't true"
That was hard to admit.
In that moment, I realized how many things in my life I put before Jesus and I realized just how many other names my heart sings.
People, things, plans, ideas, all idols.
How many times a week do I have to remind myself to spend time with Him?
Too many.
How many times a week do I have to remember to give something to Him and not take it back?
Every day.
How many times a day do I have to remind myself that my future is not my own, it's His?
Every minute.
The really great thing about conviction and realizing how stupid I am as a human being is grace.
And when I have trouble remembering what grace feels like I think back to that moment on the monkey bars in Silver Lake, Michigan 7 years ago.
Grace feels like forgiveness.
Grace feels like I don't have to do life alone.
Grace feels like I am loved.
Grace feels like peace.
My heart may sing other names at times because I suck.
But because I suck, Christ died for me and I am forgiven.
And I will try my best to let my heart sing Your name.
But until I get it 100% right, I will continue to ask for forgiveness.
Melanie
And when I have trouble remembering what grace feels like I think back to that moment on the monkey bars in Silver Lake, Michigan 7 years ago.
Grace feels like forgiveness.
Grace feels like I don't have to do life alone.
Grace feels like I am loved.
Grace feels like peace.
My heart may sing other names at times because I suck.
But because I suck, Christ died for me and I am forgiven.
And I will try my best to let my heart sing Your name.
But until I get it 100% right, I will continue to ask for forgiveness.
Melanie
