Grasping truth

The moment when you are trying so hard to hear truth, but all you hear are the lies.

It goes a little something like this:

Lie: you are unloved
Truth: you are more loved then you can comprehend

Lie: he will hurt you
Truth: its not in His nature to hurt

Lie: you are unworthy
Truth: you have a purpose. I have given it to you.


Lie: he will leave
Truth: I will never leave or forsake you


You are getting the point. My head spins with these lies and when I am overwhelmed by them, it gets harder to hear truth. It gets harder to open my Bible and I end up breaking down when I just can't take it anymore.
Hearing truth is one thing, believing it in my heart is another thing.
The Lord is patient with me as I endure through this and I am forever thankful.

My good friend Chelsea gave me this verse and again, I feel thankful for the power of scripture.

"Here is a trustworthy saying:

If we died with Him,

we will also live with Him;

if we endure, 

we will also reign with Him.

If we disown Him,

He will also disown us;

if we are faithless,

He will remain faithful,

for He cannot disown Himself"

2 Timothy 2:11-13

Thank you Chelsea :) 

A thousand years

Can't. stop. listening.

Maybe you will enjoy it too :)

Psalm 90

A prayer when my heart is heavy.

"Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations.
Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
You return man to dust and say, "Return, O children of man!"
For a thousand years in your sight are but as yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night.
You sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream, like grass that is renewed in the morning;
in the morning it flourishes and is renewed; in the evening it fades and withers.
For we are brought to an end by your anger; by your wrath we are dismayed.
You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence
For all our days pass away under your wrath; we bring our years to an end like a sigh.
The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty;
yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away. 
Who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath according to the fear of you?
So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.
Return, O Lord! How long?
Have pity on your servants!
Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, and for as many years as we have seen evil.
Let your work be shown to your servant, and your glorious power to their children.
Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us;
yes, establish the work of our hands!"

The camel and the eye of the needle

Last night my friend Molly and I decided to go lay under the stars behind our dorm.
I needed a break from studying and Molly is a great friend and always willing to go on adventures with me :)
We grabbed a bunch of blankets, bundled up and headed outside.
Back home in Toledo, I can't see much of the stars but here in Cedarville, the stars are so vivid. I was looking forward to just laying down and seeing God's handiwork.

We talked, laughed and I was shaking because I was cold (normal)
Molly told me she loved the biblical analogy of the moon. Seeing as I never heard this analogy before I asked her to explain. She told me the moon doesn't produce it's own light, the sun casts the light on the moon, therefore because of the sun we can see the moon. This is the same for us. We cannot shine the Gospel on our own, God shines His light on us and therefore we can be seen.
I love this. Don't you?

We also got onto the topic of Jesus's parables and His reason for speaking this way throughout the gospels. I asked her what her favorite parable was and she said the camel and the eye of the needle. Really, this is a fantastic parable and has been running through my head all day.

Jesus states in Matthew 19:24 "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God."


During this time period, in order for a camel to enter the gate called the eye of a needle, it first had to stop and have all its bags removed. After dark, when the main gates were shut, travelers or merchants could 
use the smaller gate, through which the camel could only enter crawling on its knees. 


Brilliant.


It's easier for a camel to enter the eye of the needle then for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.
We have to fall on our knees before God. Humble ourselves before the King.
Really, I am getting goosebumps.
The power of Jesus's words in this parable. Oh how I wish I was there to hear him.


Let us fall on our knees and humble ourselves before the King.

Happy Birthday little sister!

This is my little sister Cassidy.

Today she is 3 years old!
Hard to believe my baby sister is already 3!!
Happy birthday to a spunky, sassy, beautiful little girl.
Love you Cassidy! Can't wait to see you soon!

Love your sister,

Melanie

Happy Birthday little brother!

This little man is my younger brother Nicky.

He was born today just five years ago. He’s a whole hand now, it’s a big deal!

I love this little boy so so much. He makes me smile with his kind, sweet, innocent little self and I love having a “mini me” J

Happy 5^th Birthday Nicky, I love you very much and I can’t wait to see you.

Love your sister,

Melanie

How are you really?

Moments like this when your heart experiences pain but you can't explain why.

Moments like this when you call a familiar voice just to hear truth

Moments like this when you so desperately just want to go home

Moments like this when you want to lay down and cry.

Moments like this when you hear a powerful message and your heart is constantly telling you to forgive, but that means surrendering your pain and placing it in someone else's hands

Moments like this when you read something and you are moved to tears.

Moments like this when the sun brings you great joy.

Moments like this when you just write and write and write in order to make sense of any emotion.

Moments like this when you search the scriptures for truth.

We all have those days. Days where you just hurt, but can't explain why.
Days where you just want to run or even hide behind laughter, busy schedules, and even temporary joy.
Days where the answer to "how are you" isn't actually "good"
How are you really?

Melanie

Psalm 94:19
"When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul"

Attribute Challenge Day 6: Shadow of your wings, I take refuge

Psalm 57:1-3
"in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, 
till the storms of destruction pass by.
I cry out to God Most High,
to God who fulfills his purpose for me.
He will send from heaven and save me;
he will put to shame him who tramples on me"


This Psalm reminds me of a song I sang for solo and ensemble in junior high. I chose this song because I was familiar with it, however I did not realize the significance or meaning of the song. 
Here is a little of the lyrics that stand out to me now. 


On Eagles Wings


And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
You need not fear the terror of the night,
Nor the arrow that flies by day,
Though thousands fall about you,
Near you it shall not come. 


I'm grateful for times in my childhood when I can look back and see God, I had no idea why I chose this song, besides the fact that I was familiar with it from my traditional church.


God is my refuge, and He is my strength :)

Attribute Challenge day 5: Mercy

Psalm 123:3
"Have mercy upon us, O Lord, have mercy upon us"

The Lord is merciful and will restore His people
We cry out to Him and He listens
Thank you for being a merciful God.