A new desire

This morning I decided to explore my dad’s new neighborhood looking for a good spot to draw. A spark has been relit in my heart, the desire to draw again. In high school I drew all the time. I doodled, painted, worked with clay, I was always doing something artsy, but since college, I lost that desire and that ability. I forgot how freeing it was to pick up a pen and literally draw what is right in front of me.

I found that again this break and I love it.

For my birthday, I was given a journal to draw in and I was so excited. It was probably one of the greatest gifts because it was unexpected and something that was so familiar to me but so distant (if that makes sense).

This journal has relit the spark that I thought I lost.

Drawing is something I can escape through, much like writing.

I can also connect with God through my drawing, like this morning.

I found a quiet spot in front of the lake and sat down and drew what was in front of me. I listened to Jesus music and just sat in His creation.

I listened to the birds, watched the ducks dive underwater, felt the warm Florida air and even felt the mist from the fountain.

Really, I was in heaven.

I wasn’t even worried about the 8ft long alligator my stepmom kept warning my sister and I about ;)

A familiar song came on my ipod, one I have recently begun to skip over because I tend to really drive songs into the ground, and this was one of them. But this morning I decided to leave it and I decided to listen to what the lyrics were really saying.

“I know you've heard the truth that God has set you free

But you think you're the one that grace could never reach

So you just keep asking, what everybody's asking”

The constant question being asked in my head: Am I worth it?

The devil would tell me no, but the Lord has promised me, yes.

“You’re worth it, you can’t earn it. Yeah the cross has proven that you are sacred and blameless, your life has purpose. You are more then flesh and bone can’t you see your something beautiful, yeah you got to believe that you are someone worth dying for”

When I sat there listening to this, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Jesus died for me, He didn’t have to, but he bore MY sin on that Cross.

“It was my sin that held Him there

Until it was accomplished

This I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom”

I’m grateful for my time in Florida. Not only to spend time with Dad, Caron, Ben, Nick and Cassidy, but for the time to do things I enjoy and to reconnect with God through something I forgot I loved so much.

I am thankful for a simple, blank journal.