An unexpected blessing

Did you know that 26 eleven year olds could teach you so much?

I didn't.

Did I think that my sassiest little girl would end up being my favorite?

Nope.

Did I think that my most defiant and snarky boy would respect me?

Never.

Did I think I would love teaching reading?

Absolutely not.

But all of these things came true.

Story 1:
I walked in on my first day and saw a little blonde fashion diva sitting in the corner with this sassy look on her face refusing to respond to anything my teacher was saying. I knew I had my work cut out for me with that one. The look she was giving my teacher was the exact look I gave my mom 10 years ago (sorry mom). I tried not to judge her from day one but that was rather difficult to do. She was a stinker (to put it nicely).
The next day, it was my turn to teach. She was challenging me with her faces and lack of participation. I asked a question and the same 5 students raised their hands...I waited (wait times important) and still no other takers so I called on one of those five afraid to look stupid. I asked another question, again, the same 5 hands. I asked for other volunteers. Her hand sheepishly went up.
She answered.
She was correct.
She smiled.
The next day she came in, put her stuff down, looked at the board, followed the directions and even collected the books at the end of the period.
The following day, she came in and instead of going straight to her seat, she came over to tell me a story.
I smiled.
Over the next few weeks, I made it a point to talk to her before and after class.
On Wednesday she came up to me and said "Good morning Miss McCallister, did you know it's national Vans day?"
I looked down at her hot pink pair of Vans and shook my head no.
I didn't even know there was such a day.
Turns out, her and I have a lot in common at age 11.
Who knew she would end up being one of my favorites?

Story 2:
There's always that one student that never turns anything in on time and if they do turn things in on time, it's never completed. The work is always rushed and poorly done because the goal is to just finish it, not to learn.
I remember doing similar things in reading class.
One day I decided to try small group reading and while I met with the different groups, the other students were supposed to be working on their Camp Green Lake brochures.
This process took two days which meant they had two days to complete this project in class.
I gave them a rubric to follow as well as an example I had done.
When it came time for them to be due, I was missing one.
Of course.
The next day I asked this student if he had his brochure.
He said no...
Points were deducted.
The following day I asked him if he had his brochure.
This time he said he just forgot it at home.
More points were deducted.
Three days later, he walks into class announcing "I HAVE MY BROCHURE"
Thank you for making that public announcement.
I take it from him, grade it.
He fails the assignment.
This is a repeated pattern.
Finally, one day, I walked over to him because he was not on task and I told him if he did not complete what he was working on in class it was for homework.
He nodded.
I asked him if he wrote it down in his agenda.
He shook his head no.
I told him to write it down.
He wrote it.
The next day he came into class announcing "MISS MCCALLISTER I DID MY HOMEWORK!"
Again, thank you for that making sure the entire middle school heard you.
He hasn't turned in one late assignment to me since.
I talk to him before class about what he's reading and he tells me in detail the entire story.
He raises his hand when I ask questions.
He smiles at me when I look at him instead of giving me the death glare (that's a plus).
He even offers to help me collect the books and pick up the classroom.
Who knew one conversation could cause such a behavior change?

Story 3:
I'm a math person.
I always have been.
My brain is very linear and I have never been very good at thinking abstractly.
I knew this field experience was going to be a challenge because I did not feel competent in the subject.
Want to know something funny?
My supervisor gave me the highest score on content knowledge. She says I know my stuff.
I laughed a little.
I definitely don't feel like I do.
At least she was encouraging.
I discovered I would love to teach reading. Not grammar, not language arts, just reading.
I love to incorporate creativity, drawing, games, writing, and laughter into my lessons.
The laughter is usually due to my mistakes but at least we can all laugh about it together.
You have to learn to laugh at yourself.
Like on Tuesday, we were completing an ABC character analysis for the main character in Holes.
We got to the letter J and I was drawing a blank so I asked the students if they had any ideas.
A student raised his hand and said juvenile.
Great.
How do you spell that? 
I've learned that i'm a horrible speller, well I've known that, but it's tripled when you're facing 26 students and they expect you to know everything.
My mind went completely blank.
So I smiled and said "that's a great word to describe him, can you spell that for me?"
Phew, great cover up, two lessons in one, character description and spelling.
My supervisor enjoyed that story in my reflection after the lesson.

This week has just confirmed that this is what I want to be doing with my life.
I teach because I love the students and I care about their learning.
I teach because they make me smile and laugh every single day.
I teach because if I can show them Christ's love then that's the greatest lesson I can teach them.

I'm going to miss these 26 silly sixth graders.

Melanie

Miss McCallister

About two weeks ago I started teaching reading at Rockway Middle School.

I have 26 sixth graders.

I love it!

But it didn't start out that way.

I went into this semester hesitant with my major and wondering if I actually wanted to teach.
I have many dreams and I feared my major would not take me where I want to go.
I began questioning if I should change my major or just graduate
You only have one more year.

I prayed a lot about it and everyone told me to just hold on.

So I held on.

Yesterday, after being back with my students from spring break, I felt content.
I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be and I was excited.

We are reading the book Holes.
And I am having so much fun with it.

Today, I asked them to journal about a quote that one of the counselors says to Stanley (the main character).
Mr. Pendanski says "you may have done some bad things, but that doesn't mean you're a bad kid"
I asked them to explain if they agreed or disagreed with this statement.

I never expected the responses I got.

Their writing screams redemption.
It's beautiful.

Here's some examples:

        "There are ups and downs to life"

        "No one can be exactly perfect"

        "Say your sorry and forgive"

        "Everyone has done something bad in their lifetime"

        "Everybody screws up in life, nobody's perfect"

And my favorite, I jumped when I read this one:

        "Jesus is always willing to welcome you back as one of his children"

You can bet I put a smiley next to that sentence!

I also gave everyone a check plus when I graded these. I was so pumped that some of them GET IT!

I'm learning that it's not about being good at the subject you are teaching it's about knowing how to teach and being good at teaching.

It was a happy day :)

Melanie

21st birthday surprise!

Let me start by saying, I am not a morning person and this morning I snoozed for a little longer then I should have so I was in a hurry.

I got up and it was pitch black but in the corner by my dresser I saw a dark shadow and I thought I forgot to move my suitcase or Hilary set her back pack there. When I walked over I saw this...

I smiled and grabbed my shower stuff and opened my door.

21 balloons fell in my face and on the ground into my room, I laughed. Thanks Taylor :)

I was barricaded in my room by a few trash bags taped to the outside of my door. 

I carefully pulled the bags off my door and headed to the shower, little did I know, Chelsea was watching me the entire time.

This was taped to the door.

When I got back I turned on the light and started to look at everything by my dresser. 

I found 21 cans of diet coke (Amber knows me too well)

I also found 21 flowers from Lauren Benjamin :) 

Then I found instructions on each one of the gifts.

At 10:21, I opened Hilary's gift. 

21 bags of pretzel M&M's. My favorite candy!

At 11:21 I opened my gift from Sam.

21 My Little Pony stickers to use in my classroom, but only for the annoying boys ;)

At 3:21 I opened Cassie's gift.

21 socks! So yes, I have ten and a half pairs of socks...

AT 4:21 I opened Lauren Trainer's gift.

I love how she took out 3 pens out just to make it 21 ;)

She knows me too well, I really love colored pens.

At 6:21 I opened Chelsea's gift.

21 pictures! In chronological order from freshmen year until now :) 

At 7:21 I opened my last gift which was from Kristin. 

I do love popcorn. 

Thank you Lauren T, Chelsea, Lauren B, Sam, Taylor, Cassie, Amber, Kristin and Hilary. This was definitely one of the greatest gifts I have ever gotten and I am so grateful for each of you!

I have fun friends. They are very special and I love them.

Melanie 

Numb

Whipping out her journal, struggling to find the words to say.

Praying she will be heard.

Praying she will feel. 

Praying for any sign that everything will be okay.

No answer. Just silence

She feels alone, does anyone else struggle with this?
Does anyone else feel numb?
Can anyone else not feel?

She feels it's a curse, she feels she can't move forward.
She fears she can't love.

She takes time to herself.
Time to heal
Time to feel
Time to hear

The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent
Exodus 14:14

She is silent. 

She takes a drive with her best friend.
"Are you going to talk to me" Asks her friend
The tears come.
She doesn't know what's wrong. She hasn't known for weeks.
She can't explain it.
They pull into where they are supposed to meet people.
"You don't have to do this" Says her friend.
They get out of the car and walk into the meeting place.

It's empty.

They went to the wrong place.

Her heart feels free.

She spends the evening with her best friend walking around the mall.
Eating frozen yogurt with as many toppings as she desires.
Looking at expensive prom dresses and reliving her senior prom.
Petting puppies in a small store in the corner of the mall.
Getting kicked out of the mall- what mall closes at 9pm?
Falling down snow mounds because they can't find the car.
Falling down running to the car because they are laughing too hard.
Sitting in Mcdonald's with two dollar sevens for an hour.
Finally feeling joy and freedom.

The love of a friend.
She's healing.

Can you relate? Do you ever find yourself wishing you were anyone but yourself?
Struggling to feel, struggling to hear truth, and struggling with doubt?
Doubt is powerful, an enemy, a curse of sin.
I find peace knowing it's not supposed to be this way. Peace in the comfort of a good friend.
Peace in a Savior who died for me.
Peace that one day my emotions will be clear and my heart will be whole.

You're different.
That's okay.
I am too.

Relationships

Recently God has been teaching me a lot about relationships and community and what it looks like to live and relate to 26 girls.

It is difficult. 

But i've learned that when the walls start coming down, true friendships are formed.
When we are at our weakest, He is our strongest.

Friends are supposed to be encouraging, loving, and ultimately, they should make us want to become more like Christ.

When they see me, do they see You?

But these friendships are rare and they take effort.
Sometimes they are messy because we are broken.
Sometimes it takes more then a human to put the pieces back together.
And some of us have been wounded so badly, we are scared to make those heart connections.
What do we do then? Where do we turn when our wall is up so high we can't seem to take it down?

I ask myself that question a lot. How do I remove this wall?
I don't actually have the answer because I don't believe I have gotten to that point yet.
But I do know that point comes with trust.
It comes with being vulnerable and opening your heart, just once, for something good.

Not everyone is going to hurt you

Maybe you need to let go of a friendship and you are praying for direction.
Maybe you need to trust God to provide friendship.
Or maybe you need to take that 10 ft wall down and let someone in.

"You're going to have to let truth scream louder into our souls then the lies that have infected us"

God speaks, even in our darkest moments.

Listen. 

The day after Christmas

The day after Christmas, a time when everything returns to normal.

Life settles down, people's bank accounts are drained and this name "Jesus" is forgotten.

Who is Jesus? And why do we only recognize Him at Christmas time?

We see signs telling us He is the "Reason for the Season", but what about all the other seasons? Isn't He always the reason?

Why yes, He's the entire reason we can be saved. Saved from this world, from this pain, from this evil.
Christmas gives me a sense of hope and a peace knowing that everything will be okay, almost like a glimpse of heaven.

People seem happier, merrier, and more loving.

Customer service is fantastic and even random strangers ask to carry your bags to your car.

Sometimes I wish this world wasn't fallen and I wish emotions weren't so confusing and pain wasn't so real and families weren't so broken and jealousy wasn't so evident. But then I remember that Jesus is with me through every season and He isn't more evident at Christmas time, He is just recognized as He should be.

That baby, that lay in that manger 2000 years ago grew up and died for us.
An innocent man, hung on a cross, for you and me.
That is a reason to praise Him through every season.

I remember the promise made from the very beginning,

"I will put enmity between you and the woman,
    and between your offspring and her offspring;
he shall bruise your head,
    and you shall bruise his heel.”

                Genesis 3:15

and I cannot wait.

Christmas is a glimpse of what is coming.

Come soon Jesus.

Melanie

Timing

I was sitting in my math class, entirely frustrated and wanting to pull my hair out because I didn't understand a word that was coming out of my professors mouth. Looking around I realized I wasn't the only one giving the professor that blank "I don't understand anything that you are saying" look. You know the look i'm talking about, the one where you feel like your professor is highly too intelligent to ever simplify the information enough for an undergraduate bachelors seeking student to understand. Yeah, that look.
I decided to just write down everything I possibly could and hope to "magically" understand it later that evening.
Well, that "magic moment" didn't come.
I sat and tried to understand the information for several hours and ended up more frustrated and slightly more confused. I decided to just go to bed instead of racking my brain for knowledge that I knew wasn't there.
I woke up the next morning and realized I had a quiz that day on the information that I was clueless on. So I decided to get some help before my class from my professor.
I left her office still confused, prepared to fail the quiz and feeling really discouraged.
I got to class and everyone around me was freaking out about the quiz as well, considering we all had no idea what was going on.
She hands out the quizzes and all of a sudden the information clicked. I understood exactly what I needed to do and I could easily see how to solve the problem. I began writing as quickly as I could and when she called "times up" I had just finished.
We handed in our papers and she told us the answer we should of come up with...I was correct!
I cannot explain to you how all of a sudden all the information clicked in my head, but it did.

When I told this story to my friend Lauren, she immediately looked at me and said "God".
And that's just it. I honestly believe this was in His timing.
After I processed internally what had just happened, I was able to see how sufficient the Lord's timing truly was.
Most of the time I desire things to happen in my time because I can be a little impatient and I hate the unknown. But the Lord never promises to give us everything we desire right at the moment we desire it. However, He does teach us that His plans are far better then our own and that is why the Old Testament writer in Proverbs 3:5&6 tells us,

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
    and do not lean on your own understanding.
⁶ In all your ways acknowledge him,
    and he will make straight your paths"

I need to trust in the Lord with all of my heart and know that His plan for me is far better then any plan I could write for myself. 

He knows the desires of my heart and listens when I cry out to Him. But He also is the writer of my future and knows my story from beginning to end. I find great comfort knowing and trusting the author of my life. 

The Lord is teaching me patience. He's teaching me that timing is everything. 

And most importantly, He is teaching me that His timing is sufficient and better then my own. 

I am amazed at the Lord's timing. I can see Him even in small things, like my math quiz. 

I am continually reminded of his faithfulness and His promises.

Melanie